Dining habits have evolved significantly over time, and while good table manners and dining etiquette remain crucial, the traditional expectations of setting a table have somewhat diminished. However, knowing how to set a table properly is still a valuable skill that can elevate any occasion, be it a casual lunch or a formal holiday dinner party. It not only enhances the presentation of the food but also shows respect and appreciation for your guests.
The type of table setting you choose communicates the level of formality of your event and demonstrates that you have gone the extra mile to create a well-set table. While setting a table may seem intimidating, especially for more formal occasions, it is simply about making people feel comfortable. As etiquette expert Maryann Parker explains, "We just need to know a few basic rules to be comfortable and never intimidated by the prospect of navigating the table setting. For informal dining, we do not need the most expensive china to feel special, sophisticated, and classy. We can easily improvise."
How to Set a Basic Table
A basic table setting is perfect for weeknight family dinners or casual outdoor gatherings. It is the least formal option and requires minimal items. The main difference between a basic table setting and a more formal one is the number of utensils. In a basic setting, you will need a plate, knife, fork, napkin, and water glass. Remember, knives should always be placed on the right side with the blade facing in, while forks are placed on the left.
To set a basic table:
- Place a tablecloth or a place mat to protect your table.
- Position the dinner plate on the place mat.
- Fold the napkin and place it to the left of the dinner plate.
- Set the fork on top of the napkin.
- Position the knife to the right of the plate, with the blade facing the plate.
- Place the water glass slightly to the right, above the plate.
How to Set a Casual Table
If you're hosting an informal dinner party or a slightly more elevated gathering, you can enhance your table setting from basic to casual. A casual table setting may include additional glassware like wine glasses, linen napkins instead of paper ones, and the addition of a salad plate and fork, or even a soup bowl and spoon. It still remains relatively simple, and you won't require charger plates, a white tablecloth, or a variety of utensils.
To set a casual table:
- Start with a place mat or tablecloth.
- Place the dinner plate on the place mat.
- If needed, add a salad plate or a soup bowl on top of the dinner plate.
- Fold the napkin and position it to the left of the dinner plate.
- Set the fork on top of the napkin (forks and napkins always go to the left!).
- If needed, position the salad fork to the left of the dinner fork.
- Position the knife to the right of the dinner plate.
- If needed, position the soup spoon to the right of the knife.
- Place the water glass on the table, slightly above and to the right of the dinner plate.
- Add a wine glass slightly above and to the right of the water glass.
How to Set a Formal Table
For formal occasions like dinner parties, weddings, or special events, a formal table setting is necessary. This setting involves more utensils and plates than a basic or casual setting. Along with the dinner plate, basic forks, and knives, a formal table setting includes a bread plate, butter knife, cup and saucer for coffee or tea, dessert utensils, and possibly multiple types of wine glasses. A formal tablecloth is typically used instead of a place mat.
To set a formal table:
- Cover the table with a crisply ironed tablecloth.
- Place a charger on the table.
- Set the soup bowl on top of the charger (soup is usually the first course).
- Position the bread plate slightly above and to the left of the charger.
- Place the butter knife on the bread plate, with the blade facing in towards the charger.
- Place the napkin to the left of the charger.
- Set the dinner fork on top of the napkin.
- Position the salad fork to the left of the dinner fork.
- Position the knife to the right of the charger.
- Add the soup spoon to the right of the knife.
- Right above the charger, position the dessert spoon horizontally, with the handle on the right side.
- If individual salt and pepper shakers are used, place them above the dessert spoon.
- If using place cards, place them above the dessert spoon, between the salt and pepper shakers if necessary.
- Arrange the glassware. Start with the water glass slightly above and to the right of the charger. Add a red wine glass to the top right of the water glass, and a white wine glass to the bottom right. Additional glassware, such as champagne or sherry glasses, may be added if required.
- You can set the coffee cup and saucer on the table or bring them out when serving dessert. If placed on the table, position them on the bottom right of the glassware.
FAQs
How do you set a table for lunch?
For an informal luncheon, a lunch table setting can mirror a basic or casual table setting. Since it's a lunch, you would typically omit the wine glasses and stick to a water glass for your drinkware.
What can you leave out of a formal table setting?
Both etiquette experts, Lisa Grotts and Maryann Parker, agree that the finger bowl is one element of a formal table setting that can be left out. Finger bowls were traditionally used during the dessert course for guests to rinse their fingers, but they are no longer necessary. Additionally, fish knives are not typically used during informal dinners and can be left in the cutlery drawer.
Where do forks go on a table setting?
Regardless of the formality of the place setting, forks always go on the left side. Knives are placed on the right side with the blade pointing in, and a soup spoon is placed on the right if soup is served.
What's the golden rule of table setting?
The golden rule of table setting, according to both etiquette experts, is to place the utensils in the order they will be used, from the outside in. As Lisa Grotts suggests, "You always work out to in when you're eating."
How do you remember where to put everything?
If you struggle to remember where everything should be placed on your table, Maryann Parker suggests keeping the BMW logo in mind: bread, main course, water. Alternatively, you can form lowercase "b" and "d" with your hands as a reminder: bread on the left, drinks on the right.
About the Experts
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Maryann Parker is the founder and executive director of Manor of Manners, specializing in luxury etiquette teachings. With nearly a decade of experience in assisting luxury brands, businesses, and individuals, she is also the author of two books, "The Sharpest Soft Skill" and "Posh Overnight."
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Lisa Grotts is a certified etiquette expert with over 23 years of experience in helping clients navigate business, social, and political situations. She is a former director of protocol for the city and county of San Francisco, a certified etiquette professional, and a past member of the International Society of Protocol and Etiquette Professionals.
Remember, setting a table is not just a practical skill but an opportunity to create an inviting atmosphere for your guests. Whether it's a basic, casual, or formal table setting, the effort you put into preparing a well-appointed table will be appreciated by all who gather around it.